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Psychosis and me.

Living life with psychosis is hard. First days I have to  adapt to this disease. I feel vacuum in my head.

Psychosis took away my ideas and new topics to write. It’s very hard to come up with a topic to write.

Even with psychosis you can’t give up. Life is too wonderful to give up and commit suicide. Suicide is the last thing I will do. I will never commit suicide.

Suicide is a very bad way to end your life. I will wait natural death instead.

Psychosis made me pessimist, today all my life is so negative. Maybe I need time to heal from this disease.

Everything started when I finished my first book –  I got so emotional, I got insane, then I was first hospitalized – a year ago. After that I was living my life without pharmaceuticals and then I got every emotional, got insane for the second time this year.

Hospitalization kinda sucks. You’re being pumped with drugs and they heal you.

Today I feel like an addict, who can’t live without pharmaceuticals – holoperidol injections and olanzapin pills. Can’t sleep without lorafen pills. So basically i’m stuck on these medicaments.

Today I’m thinking that I will stop my healing process ant will try to live my life without drugs. Worst case scenario – I will be hospitalized for the fourth time.

Psychosis tries to take away my writing skills, but I won’t give up that easy. I became a writer and I will die as a writer. Nobody will stop me from being a writer. You got to fight for your right to party.

My third hospitalization

I’ve been hospitalized for almost two weeks. Damn this life with all those pharmaceuticals. I wonder will I ever heal from this disease. Psychosis is a nasty disease.

People say, that best thing to do in this kind of situation is to stay positive. I don’t know how can you stay positive when you’re sick. I will try to stay positive.

Anyways my third hospitalization was kind of fun… I’ve spend almost all of it in bed. Damn this wonderful life.

Sorry guys for abandoning my blog.

When I started writing my blog, I hoped that I could write it daily, but my psychosis got worse. It’s harder to come up with topics to write about.

I hope that better days will come, until then sorry for not writing my blog daily. Psychosis or schizophrenia is a damn disease, which splits your brain in half and that half which is responsible for creativity gets drugged by pharmaceuticals. 

Basically speaking I have no access to brainstorming new ideas and new topics to write about. This disease prevents me from writing. I basically can’t write, because everything I write looks like piece of shit. 

Probably, I will update my blog now and then, but not daily, unless somebody will provide me  with topics to write about. Today was a bad day for me, I hope tomorrow will be better.

Living life without any effort.

Who needs cars, beautiful clothes and high-end technology, when you can sit under a tree eating bananas or coconuts.

Effortless lifestyle is best suited for slackers like me. I’ve got twenty-five years of practice as an unemployed person. Unemployment rocks. Why would one go to work and pay all of those bills and mortgages?

Fuck nine to five lifestyle, who invented this kind of lifestyle is a douchebag. People should choose their own work ours. I’m a night owl – nine to five lifestyle does not suit me, what should I do?

Life is great. Life is greater when you’re unemployed, dirty and hungry – then you can actually feel, how life is in poor countries.

Today everyone is pretending that they love their jobs, but in reality more than 60% of working people hate their jobs. Why work in a job you hate?

I’ll admit, I can’t understand that kind of people.

Good luck and fuck dirty work!